make your face,
to see yourself
through the glitter.
I don't judge,
but I still hate.
Life is fucking bitter.
The courtesan and her desertOnce there waited a courtesan.
She, whose face was fairest of the fairest.
Who was desired by every lifebeggar
to even have a slightest lick of her fiery being.
There she waited, where winds don't go,
where water don't reach
where only sand over washes
where not one step is painless.
Then one day came a prince
from the desert near and same.
Offered her hearts in dozens -
warm, free and honest.
"I want one, want the one which is burning.
Prince has a heart all sick and aching."
So kept waiting that blooming courtesan.
Came king all golden and old.
Offered her eyes in dozens -
wisdom, knowledge and sight.
"I want one, want the one that has depth.
King has eyes that are golden, but blind"
Waited more that insatiable courtesan.
From the land free over the seas came a merchant.
He offered her faces in dozens -
sly, vain, ambiting.
"I want one, want the bare one.
Man so handsome has only faces that are lying"
Then came a friend old and far to embrace.
Offered her a home in dozens -
Once said another manOnce said
but look away
A man paid
and wolf ran
made tomorrow into yesterday
and washed off all the glister.
Freezing cacophonycacophony of voices melted into one
silence of choices
the rest is done
feel ice growing inside
making my heart stop
taking over the mind
made of sindriven by lust
by anger and rage
scratching the rust
off the iron cage
the moon so full
ripped by the bull
drugging my clarity
sprite of the night
unknown what's right
I'm made of sin
Beton BeehivesBeton beehives. Thick lint of sun setting sky. Not black, not light, but softly blue with a hint of warm sun, leaving the sky behind. The silhouettes of trees, not carrying the leaves, still burdened by winter and on one lonely branch there sits a bird. Still, as a statue.
She lays back and looks at it. Waiting for it to move. But nothing. Is it a crow or a mere pigeon, cannot tell. Ear catches covered sounds coming from the outside of the stone wall. The bird do not even react. As if it is stuffed and attached to the tree. Yet suddenly a message. Anxious sound, nerve wrecking, heart racing sound of a message. For a second she looks down and the bird was gone as if it was his to deliver. She looked at her phone and read the message.
That moment, buried in such silent chaos, that even her sharp ears could not hear a scratch of it. A man. Nothing else could cause a chaos like that. She sighed, giving it sarcastic tone. It should have been the dead hour, but everything was alive. Unwillin
Stand for one nightDevious drug
weakening my knees
Distract me, please
Take me to bed
But cover my eyes.
Sing what is said
Tell me honest lies.
I'm giving me up
Just take and have
empty my cup
Take all that is sad
Comfort me stranger
love me for a night
Feeding on danger
Faith is out of my sight
The silencethe silence of alone
the silence of lovers
the silence of unknown
the silence that covers
the silence of terror
the silence before the storm
the silence fixing the error
the silence that is not warm
the silence of fear
the silence that cries
the silence not having you here
the silence that lies
the silence of me
the silence of two
the silence i can't see
the silence from you
Pathetic passion in a doleful dayIt has been drizzling outside since morning. No sign of the end. The heavy sigh of the sky covering me with its comforting blanket. Thank you for crying with me on this lonely day. Weak dull hue covering my sand-colored skin. No bother wearing clothes today when not even thought is leaving between those four walls. Only living thing a little small calm light of a candle. Watering my lips, feeling warmth of the hot breathing tea, so sweet. Please fill my inside. Mind not finding focus. Work. Falling behind in time. Can’t slip, Can’t fall back. Please raging storm outside, just push me a little forward so I could grab the edge. Chocolate melting on my tongue. A little sweet, but not filling. Have lost the appetite. A sight catching a colorless bird. A strong breeze making trees shiver. And I still look at the dull texts of postmodernism. Seminar. But my mind can’t find focus. Not understanding not one written word on the screen. Not able to spell, not able to read, like
words, silence and love99% of everything I've learned was through words
I have learned so much reading the words
of strangers (who'd died before I was even born)
like how to kiss the wrong boys
and how to curse the world
and how to dream of an infinity
that ceases to exist, like everything else.
So, excuse me if I turn you into metaphors
or look at you as if you were a poem.
Imprisoned...“Yeah… she’s fine… good care of her… don’t worry…”
My eyes snapped open to the sound of a certain voice outside the door.
Just like always, my eyes were greeted by darkness and my body was shrouded with the familiar cold I’d gotten accustomed to. Summoning the last bit of strength I had left, I pushed myself up from my fetal position on the floor. I staggered to my feet and felt around the room, keeping one hand on the wall to steady myself and the other in front of me to feel my way around the pitch black darkness.
Where’s the door?! Where is it? I silently screamed in desperation.
After several moments passed, I realized that I wasn’t getting anywhere (obviously, since I was still being kept prisoner.)
I closed my eyes.
I thought about just where I was and tried to figure out where was the location of the door, based on the last time I saw the basement with my own two eyes.
Umm, right in front of me? <
Learning to be HumanSomething Borrowed.
It started when she noticed the laughing people, the ones who smiled. She'd never experienced anything like that before. It looked... interesting. So, after a while spent watching from the outside, she figured out how to school her facial muscles into a facsimile of a smile, and how to give an approximation of a laugh. Eventually, over time, she became better at it. But one day, her borrowed smiles and her borrowed laughs became just as accurate as the others'.
It started when she noticed the quieter people, the ones who didn't join in the jollity. The ones who walked with downcast eyes and sloping shoulders, moving around the crowd's edge. She'd never experienced anything like that before. It looked... interesting. So, after a while spent watching from the outside, she learnt to discard her easy smile and her quick laugh. She figured out how to hang her head so that she couldn't see the world pass by, and how to say "I'm fine." without
The world is an asylumThe world is an asylum you know.
Think about it.
The world is crazy.
You don’t know what anyone is going to do one minute from the next.
Everyone is unpredictable.
Everyone is dangerous.
Everyone is manic in some form.
We are all brothers and sisters in madness.
We are all inmates.
If God is real, he’s definitely head of a wing.
His followers blindly and obediently follow.
Preaching the words of long dead prophets.
Voices in the heads of the god fearing.
The banker too is an official of this asylum.
With his abhorrent condition called wealth.
He enslaves his flock with earthly desires.
Kleptomania for the masses.
Politicians would be wardens of course.
Fooling the inmates into obedience.
Multiple personality disorder governance.
We all must be mad.
We made the world the way it is.
The world is our asylum.
We are all inmates.
Abused5, 4, 3, 2, 1...
Slashes and tears are my garment;
I'm leaving crippled foot prints,
Savaging the corpse with my sadistic relinquishment.
I give up, I surrender,
Dignity is my thrust of departion;
Desperation no longer earn endearment,
I'll crouch in a corner reminiscing every triumph we had.
Ah, fragments of euphoria is ruling me,
As the masochism in me strikes;
I'm losing it, I'm dancing hysteria,
I'm ecstatic as long as I'm alive.
Welcome to Suicide Awareness WeekWelcome to Suicide
Awareness Week at
(For those of you who are at Arts-and-Health, we are helping to promote this week with the group Spreading-Awareness. Please feel free to join us there for this week's activities and discussions!)
We hope to provide some understanding about suicide and the risk factors for it. This week's topics will include:
Introduction to Suicide Awareness Week, by Aeirmid
Factors of Suicide, by Wataqo
Coping and Seeking Help, by akkajess and Astralseed
Suicide and Who It Affects Part 1, by HuntingForHappiness
Suicide and Who It Affects Part 2, by Nichrysalis
Reaching Out, by Astrikos
Suicide Awareness Week: In Closing, by Nichrysalis
Basic facts about suicide
Did you know that suicide is a top 10 cause of death in the United States? W
Suicide Awareness Week: Coping and Seeking HelpWhether you are aware of a cause or not, it can be difficult to relate to others at this time, so you are likely to feel withdrawn or irritable. Even if you have family and friends around, you may find it impossible to tell them how bad you feel.
Coping with Suicidal Feelings
Take some time each day to find at least one positive thing in your life or take some time out to do something positive that you want to do, even if it is very minor. If you are unable to do this on your own, ask a friend to help you come up with something positive to focus on.
Find a support system, be it a family member, friend, or even just a therapist, it's important to have someone to go to who you can lean on and trust for support and guidance.
Remind yourself that your pain is distorting your thinking right now. These thoughts are merely symptoms of your depression, and are not necessarily facts. You do not h
kintsugiwhen you start to think you are
that you are
fragile pottery knocked over
but then repaired
with careful hands
and liquid gold
to fill up all the cracks;
think that you are not damaged
but filled with gold,
because something that has
is all the more beautiful
RainGently knocking on my window
Coloring the sky with gray
Flowing down hills toward the meadow
It's the highlight of my day
My face frozen in time
As my cheek of porcelain
Touches the see-through wall
Every time it heats up
Leaving a puddle of smoke suck
To the face of it
Calming me with it's gentle lullaby
As i step into the world of dreams
or is it nightmares?
A Wish for YouMay you always have
brand new pens
with beautiful, flowing ink
and all the words of the world
to tell the story
you want to share
May you find
ears that will listen
minds that are open
and hearts that will dance with you
through the sunshine
and the storms
May you encounter inspiration
when the doubts begin to creep in
from joy and sorrow
interweaving light and shadow
until you've made
a place to start
May there always be
hands to help you
and a hug or two
to help you get through
but when the cacophony fades
may you find your place
in the stillness
your own voice
to speak out with
May the red string of fate
to that place
that you belong to
to that thing
that only you can do
In this crazy web of lies
I hope you can learn
that unyielding truth
hear the harmony
that sings to you
grow those wings
that let you come unglued
All Over AgainBreathe in
Hold back the tears
Pretend to be alright
When you're dying inside
Too many secrets
Never truly kept
Too late to turn back
Now that i'm drowning
Inside this pool of despair
I am burdened with my broken soul
All over again
WhispersI am smeared...
...across your lips and mouth.
Slandered by a snake with scales like flesh.
Your eyes blister...
...they ignite and extinguish my fire.
Cursed by a cat with a tongue-like tail.
My blood burns...
...as you thread your talons through it.
Kissed by a corpse with fangs named Fear.
Addiction and HopeTrapped in a cycle
A never ending prison
One of circumstance
Depression and anxiety
Driving the cycle
Cannot escape from it
A rough life
And gripping fear
Just wanting to get away
Away from the pain
To be happy
Writing as an outlet
Pills to be numb
Alcohol to be happy
As wrong as it is
The last two
It's a way to function
Depression and anxiety
Ruining and crippling it
Through hard work
It can be healed
To have happiness
To have a normal life
To be free from the constraints
Being able to fly in joy
The day of total freedom
To be fully healed
So anxious for that day
Soon with hard work
From the damage that was done
Done by people meant to love
Meant to protect
A flower fully in bloom
Happy and free
Finally having a happy life
Free of the pain
A beautiful day will happen soon
on being a terrible writerI like my poetry free-versed
I could never stick to rules
to save my life
nor could I ever walk a straight line
& maybe my heart's been stained
I am a bitter writer.
I become the burn to cleanse the earth
the why am i here ?
inconsistent the reflection
to state the obvious
in a silent stagnant form
i remembered how to feel again
to break the surface clean
a collection of your stains
as i caught the question why.
What's Happening?"She seems like a whore"
"You're kind of bitchy"
People say I'm--
"He's cheating with you, isn't he?"
What are you--
"You act like such a slut"
I haven't even--
"You sure you're not a lesbian"
"God, you're so lazy"
I am not! I--
"You never take anything seriously!"
Maybe, but I--
"You're, like, a 9 on the scale"
"You're so nice all the time"
"I never knew you were so deep"
There's a lot of--
"You're what this place is missing"
You really think--
"You're always so optimistic"
Well, yeah, I--
"Everyone loves you"
"I think you'll go far"
I dont know--
You ask me what I'm talking about
When I seem so so confused
Why won't you just make up your mind, everybody
It's not like I've got something left to lose
I'm beaten down and brought back up
Now, every single day
Is this some sick tric